Issue 2: Rediscovering Artistic Identity
Struggles and Solutions in the Digital Age
I once was an introvert without social media who sat in her room for hours sketching, painting, and drawing. I used my mom's camera to snap photos that never went anywhere.
So when, and why did this change?
Part of the process as a photographer and artist is shooting and exploring for myself. However, over the years, there has been a decline in this type of exploration.
Life got busier, and external opinions started to matter more. There was a subtle shift in how I started to feel about my own work as well.
I no longer was creating art, I was making work.
I was no longer creating to scratch the itch of "what if" in my mind. I was producing for others and addressing their problems and needs.
It then began to trickle into things that were originally for myself, but somehow were then filtered to consider others. Snap a photo of a great trail? Tag a tourism board on social media.
I was being influenced.
But how did I start thinking and creating this way? And the bigger question haunting me: why was I no longer creating work like I did when I was younger? Work that was about growth, experimentation, and play. Work that was about what I needed as an artist, and may never really see the light of day?
Social Media and Its Influence on Photography and Art
Don't get me wrong, I often feel grateful that I have carved out a career over the years that allows me to be creative. I love my work, I have amazing clients, and I am often fulfilled by my work.
However, I became aware that by always answering client needs, I wasn't necessarily at the helm of my own creative development. When I had a restaurant client, people kept asking me to do more of that. When I was shooting stark and minimalist, high-contrast product photography, guess what?
People wanted more of that. But was either one what I wanted to be doing long-term?
No. These were interesting projects. I have to shoot for a brand's style or specific project, but that doesn’t mean that it is a reflection of who I want to be as a photographer 10 years from now. At some point, on my own time, I need to shoot for my personal development as an artist and photographer. Otherwise, I won't get to challenge my skills, learn, and reach for new ideas.
Looking for external validation also began to create a split in what I was showing. Social media has helped my career, and I know without it I wouldn’t have had many of the projects that came my way.
But this feeling kept creeping up about what I should show, versus what I wanted to show. And social media can be like a drug for the artist's brain. It is a lot easier to view the world as an opportunity for content and post what works rather than do the harder thing and start a project that may not work, may not be great, or may not perform well on a platform.
“Checking social media provides the hope of that immediate dopamine hit of fresh likes, commends, connection, and affirmation — feelings that seem a long way off when we’re beginning some new thing.” — David Duchemin
The Psychological Implications of Conformity
I can see the allure of this; humans want to be a part of a group. We want to fit in and be rewarded for conforming to the norm. It is why tourists swarm to snap the same photo at landmarks.
Being an outlier who doesn't conform can feel isolating. I may be talking about photography, art, and creativity, but these feelings of being part of a group reach deeper into our psyche.
“Putting ourselves out there is scary as shit… There was a time when belonging to the tribe was everything, when conformity to the norm mattered and being ostracised…could mean being cast out and separated form the safety and survival that tribe represented.” — David Duchemin
Chasing the approval of others in my creative work is emotionally draining. It is also why countless creators now post about hacking algorithms and share how they were able to achieve growth. I have noticed this trend among social media creators who I would call photographers or artists first, and not put them in the category of social media coaches at all.
It starts with them sharing content they likely love creating, and likely in an area they want to be known for. Through their hard work, dedication, and consistency, they begin to gain momentum. Gradually, they notice what works for them, and there is a noticeable transition. They get rewarded, so the natural next move is to recreate content that has proven to be successful.
After a while, you start to see them sharing their experiences on how they achieved growth on social media. People reach out to them, asking for advice on how they "made it." We all want a taste of their success. What is their secret? It is only natural to wonder, "If I replicate what they did, will I also get noticed?" It can be challenging to showcase an image you created to the world or your followers, only to have it receive little attention on social media.
I have had conversations with photographers about "not performing" on social media, and I always ask, "But did you get the clients you want?" If the answer is yes, don't stress and focus on your career. Social media growth isn't the key to everyone's success, especially if it comes at the sacrifice of loving your work, and your craft, or if it feels out of integrity with your own goals as an artist.
What I am more concerned about are those who toss their vision out of the window to chase conformity and in their eyes, popularity.
I think you and I can agree, that artists like Frida Kahlo or Marcel Duchamp are not famous for copying anyone.
They weren’t unique because they were famous—they were famous because they were unique. The fame isn’t the point. — David Duchemin
Rediscovering Creativity Through Play (Start Ugly)
I feel like this process of returning to creating work for myself started with pottery. A sense of disillusionment and lack of excitement washed over me when I recognized that I had left behind the artist of my past who created for the feeling of bringing an idea to life.
I had become just another content duplicator.
Pottery was a way to step away from expectations, results, and the need to create something good. I was new to pottery, I struggled, and it felt like play. I was able to enter a state of flow and focus on a physical object in my hands.
It brought back that feeling of being alone in my room, creating for no other reason than curiosity and expression. No one was going to buy my lopsided cup or bowl.
I began to build a space between my art and my paid work.
The goal then became to nurture that feeling in other areas of my creativity. It is why I now write. I don't think I am good at it. I just find it brings me joy to put down my thoughts and begin the puzzle that I may never solve.
Social Media Comparison: The Thief of Creative Joy
Imagine a life led without ever creating your own work. Where you spend all your time looking at others and comparing yourself. To me, that feels sad. It's sad to spend a life outside of yourself and in constant comparison. But I also understand why it happens.
“We have a compulsion to know where we stand in the world.” — David Duchemin
While Frida and Duchamp did have access to galleries, and opinions, and were entrenched in a society of art, they didn't have the literal world of art at their fingertips every time they thought about starting work. You and I now have Pinterest, Instagram, and countless websites that allow us to compare ourselves.
The thing with art is that everything has already been created. And I need to be realistic; I am never going to stop looking at art, at other photographs, or exit modernity to sit alone in a studio creating.
So, how can I harness access to a world of art but stay true to my own needs as an artist, photographer, and creator?
How to Find Creative Inspiration Without Being a Copycat
This is where I look to artists who are great outside my personal comfort medium, photography. One example of someone who inspired me to create rather than conform is Agnes Denes. In particular her work Wheatfield–A Confrontation, from 1982 and Tree Mountain.
Denes' work pushed the boundaries of what is possible. Her work was not about conforming, duplicating, or seeking approval. Instead, her work helps shift my thinking from focusing on a small square lost in a sea of content to considering impact, legacy, and active participation in a broader conversation.
When I saw photos of Wheatfield, for a moment my brain thought it was photoshopped. I needed to learn more. Just read how she thought about the project,
“Planting and harvesting a field of wheat on land worth $4.5 billion created a powerful paradox. Wheatfield was a symbol, a universal concept; it represented food, energy, commerce, world trade, and economics. It referred to mismanagement, waste, world hunger and ecological concerns. It called attention to our misplaced priorities.”
What is easy to not notice or think about is that many of Denes' ideas were never brought to life. They were only sketches, ideas, unrealized. Imagine how many images she created that we will never see, how many ideas she had to go through to finally bring one to life. To find funding and convince people to let her plant a wheat field in New York City or build a mountain of trees planted in a fractal pattern.
Denes was able to create her work as a reflection of the world she saw. She brought her art to life, leaving an indelible impact on ideas and landscapes.
“Creativity and innovation is the answer in a troubled world to swing the pendulum. Be creative. Never stop. Creativity is hope.” — Agnes Denes
I use her as an example because at some point, she also had to deal with other people's opinions. She didn't hang a painting in a gallery and hope it sold. She convinced people to let her spend their money and transform physical spaces.
If she can do this, I think I can take some photos that are not liked or popular on social media and begin to find a way to build a legacy for myself that is beyond social media platforms.
Embracing Imperfection and Authenticity as an Artist and Photographer
But where to begin? It is a shift. It means rebuilding a practice of practicing. It means creating work that sucks and beginning to distance myself from external validation on work that is meant to be about my growth as an artist.
Step one was starting to feel comfortable in thinking of myself as an artist. It can feel uncomfortable; I definitely do not introduce myself this way when people ask what I do for a living. But the difference now is that I am a content producer for clients, while I am an artist for myself.
I have given myself permission to embrace change because that is exactly what I need at the moment. I need to ensure that I can pay my bills, but I also want to create work that truly excites me. A crucial part of the artistic process and developing an idea is inevitably accepting imperfection. Otherwise, nothing would ever be accomplished.
In "Start Ugly" by David Duchemin, he introduces the concept of wabi-sabi, a term often used in the creative world. His explanation helped me understand how I can apply it to my work.
“What wabi-sabi is not is a rejection of excellence, skilled craftsmanship, and good taste. When we abandon the obessive pursuit of perfection, we are not automatically endorsing sloppy, lazy work; perfection and excellence are not the same things. Nor are perfection and authenticity even remotely related.” — David Duchemin
One key point Duchemin emphasizes is using journaling to help get started, he calls it his Ugly Notebook. Like me, he recognizes that even his journals become precious. I look at the pile on my bookshelf and instantly connect to this. I end up having notes strewn around between my Moleskine calendar, my Notion databases, and journals I stop and start. And a big part has been a feeling of thinking it needs to be prose and deserving of being written down.
I can now say I have my own Ugly Notebook. I still add ideas to explore further into Notion, the ideas that may turn into projects or essays. But now I have a little cheap journal that was only a couple of dollars next to me. I don't worry about length, or consistency, or make rules about how it is to be used. I treat it like a timestamp. If you run, you may have a running journal. So I adapted this idea to my art journal. I was deeply inspired by how Haruki Murakami used his running journal to eventually lead to his book, "What I Talk About When I Talk About Running.”
My journal often looks like two or three points at the top to note down what I am currently working on (time stamp), and below a quick note about how I feel or any additional thoughts I have. It is helping me process creation-related woes, highlights, and incomplete thoughts. Because that is the point, I cannot expect to have a project I am excited about if I don't start somewhere.
It also gives me a space to jot down more random ideas. For instance, I am starting to learn about making my own ink, and if I am successful, I will work on creating abstract watercolour paintings to experiment with them. I am sourcing local flora. This idea doesn't fit into any specific place in my work world; it is just a new way for me to interact with nature in my area.
Duchemin wrote, "our vision must outpace our craft," and it resonated with me. It is why I am always learning new skills and exploring ideas. It is the gap between vision and execution that makes things exciting. And many of these ideas start in my Ugly Notebook.
How to Start Your Personal Reconnection with Creativity
What project do you wish you had time for? What would be a social media flop but a creative and joyful win for you personally?
How are you nurturing your desire to create without expectation?
How can you personally disrupt social media’s influence on your art?
I encourage you to find a little space in your day, week, or month to do what helps your journey as a maker.
For me, it has been looking at work outside of my medium, starting an Ugly Notebook, and creating a framework in my mind that allows me to make work for work's sake while labelling my personal exploration as art for myself.
Put down your phone and see if you can give yourself permission to pursue an idea, make mistakes, and come back to it when you have time again. It is in this process that I have found pleasure in writing, taking photos for my own personal work, and learning more about audio and video. It has helped me prioritize my future goals, and be less influenced by social media and what others are doing.
The point is, start somewhere. Start ugly.
Visually Captivating
Tree Mountain
Artist: Agnes Denes
From Visit Finland:
Initiated in 1982, Tree Mountain is an environmental art project designed to increase humanity’s commitment to securing ecological, social and cultural well-being.
Tree Mountain is elliptical in shape, 420 metres long, 270 metres wide and 28 metres high. It includes more than 10,000 pine trees planted according to a mathematical formula which is a combination of the golden section and a pineapple pattern. Each of the trees is dedicated to someone. The artwork was designed by the internationally renowned artist Agnes Denes and inaugurated on 14 June 1996.
Besides being environmental art, Tree Mountain aims to restore the environment in harmony with nature. The main idea was to landscape a former gravel pit, but Tree Mountain also contributes to the formation of clean groundwater. Tree Mountain will remain a protected area for centuries.
Tree Mountain - A Living Time Capsule-11,000 Trees, 11,000 People, 400 Years, 1992-96, (420 x 270 x 28 meters) Ylojarvi, Finland (source)
Video
The Shed: A Gift to the Future: Tree Mountain by Agnes Denes
“I want to change humanity a little bit. And I think I have.” — Agnes Denes
Agnes Denes reminisces on creating "Tree Mountain-A Living Time Capsule—11,000 Trees, 11,000 People, 400 Years," a collaborative bioremediation artwork and a human-made virgin forest in Ylöjärvi, Finland. From conception to completion, the creation of “Tree Mountain” spanned from 1984 to 1996.
Watch (4 minutes)
Read & Resources
Book
Start Ugly: The Unexpected Path to Everyday Creativity, by David duChemin
This book inspired this Issue. If you find yourself procrastinating, comparing yourself to others, and wishing you were "more creative," this book is perfect for you. It is structured with short chapters that can be read as stand-alone essays, making it an enjoyable and insightful read.
About: "Start Ugly" is a book that celebrates the messy creative process and encourages embracing bad ideas and imperfect beginnings. It emphasizes the importance of hard work, courage, and starting rather than waiting for inspiration. It provides both encouragement and practical advice for anyone seeking to enhance their creativity.
Buy it from Laughing Oyster Bookshop (my go-to local shop)
(I mean you can buy it almost anywhere, I just think supporting a local bookshop makes local communities thrive)
Video
Video
Listen and watch as Peter McKinnon shares his experience of making photos versus taking photos.
After two decades of shooting, he is now pursuing a lifelong goal of creating a photo book as a personal project. He talks about developing a style, being known for it, and now showing a different side of himself as an artist. This includes using film to “throw a wrench” into his creative process.
Watch on YouTube (12 minutes)
In My Cup (and my cup)
Saija Coffee + SISU Pottery
Recently we hopped over to Malcolm Island and drove around the small town of Sointula, which means "place of harmony" in Finnish. The name matched the vibe.
We spotted a small pop-up in a garage and decided to pull over. I noticed pottery, which is always a good reason to stop. I was delighted to meet a mother and daughter duo who were running the little shop. The mother makes the cups, while the daughter, along with their partner, roasts the beans.
☕️ Saija is a Victoria-based micro-roastery by Sage & Aija, with transparency around their sourcing and home-compostable bags. I am drinking La Papaya · Ecuador. I personally loved it for its light and floral sweetness.
Pottery, or Mel, is the potter behind the lovely coffee cup. "I enjoy making functional pottery, creating pieces that are inspired by nature and that celebrate the uniqueness of each piece. I strive to make pottery that can stand up to daily life ~ having an espresso at the beach, or wandering in the garden."
Here is a short video I made so you can oooo and aaaa at the packaging and cup.
Sources:
"Agnes Denes on the Enduring Legacy of Her Land Art" - The New York Times
"The Little-Known Friendship between Frida Kahlo and Marcel Duchamp" - Fahrenheit Magazine
"Marcel Duchamp" - Wikipedia
"Praise of Difficult Women: Excerpt from 'Frida Kahlo: An Artist' by Sarah M. Lowe" - National Geographic
"Frida Kahlo" - Wikipedia
"Defining Frida Kahlo's Place in Art History" - Google Arts & Culture
"Agnes Denes" - TheArtStory
Agnes Denes Studio - Official Website
"Agnes Denes: The Making of a Monumental Mountain" - YouTube
